Running on merely 3 hours of sleep makes me feel like a drug addict. I think I am a bit dazed and contemplating excessively about life.
It is hard to constantly compete against other people who seem to have a more enjoyable life than myself. I yearn to be like them, because I am socially inept and I cannot hold a proper conversation with people. I stare at cool and pretty people because I want to find out what makes them tick. What is it that makes them so incredibly perfect?
Of course perfection is but an ideal. And maybe I cannot change myself now. But I do not like this conformity, this consistency, this feeling of being me. Because I want to be different.
It is a great motivating force.
I yearn to be better. And I shall be.