I have not cried in a long time but I just did. My heart aches and I am troubled and unhappy.

It is this constant feeling of emptiness that affects me at every waking moment and I am increasingly aware that I have absolutely nothing to look forward to now.

My grades have not been good and I am overwhelmed every single day with work, ending up exhausted. And because my friends put in so much effort, I do not want to let them down.

I did not think I would be affected in this way. It hurts to hug someone and not be able to hold on for just a bit longer.

Somehow I think I am afraid of this impending degradation of friendship. Lovers to friends, friends to strangers as the frequency of each meeting decreases along with each tick of the clock.

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