Laying here unable to sleep. I don’t think I’m troubled in anyway..it hasn’t got to that point yet. I just am quite excited for next week because finally finally all this preparation will come to fruit. I really hope it goes well.

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I don’t have enough time

I try to include my friends into the things I like to do. I like to do sports, I like to do archery. I like to have fun, go out and enjoy my youth while I am still young and able enough. And it’s fine if people don’t want to join in.

It’s just the excuse that they use which puts me off. “I don’t have enough time”.

It is not that that you don’t have enough time. It is just not in your interest to do this. And therefore, you will not allocate time for it because it is not your priority. If on the other hand, it is something that YOU liked, you would make time for it.

So don’t go giving me shit like you don’t have enough time. I’d rather you be honest to yourself and me, and say you hate it.

taking a break

Life has pretty much been good. I feel kind of overwhelmed though, with work. But in the midst of that, I feel too many things. I feel that my sense of obnoxiousness is creeping back. 

Whenever I feel that life is great, I get obnoxious. And when I get obnoxious I hate myself. Also, I am easily distracted by things, especially people. These wonderful creatures with a mind of their own. I wish I could read minds. That would be quite fun. Then I’d know what they are thinking of me, and whether good people really have good thoughts, or are all just bitches in secret.

I have decided to take a 5 day hiatus from Facebook and Twitter. Today is the first night and it’s been terribly hard but I am sure I am able to pull through. The only concern is that someone might invite me to a totally awesome concert or event and I missed it just because I didn’t check Facebook. Well, who are they to expect ME to be on social media 24/7? Social media is the killer of all brilliant minds. 

Well maybe not. But I feel mine start to weather away as I keep refreshing the same page over and over again expecting new news. 

I hope this will be a perfect, fuss free, awesome five days where I complete all my assignments, work and am able to catch up on my studies. 

According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate beings condemning them to spend their lives in search for their other halves.

-Plato’s The Symposium.

we all hate something about ourselves

I must teach myself to be less obnoxious. This is a bad habit that I am highly aware of and really want to get rid of. I boast about myself having gym memberships and exercising everyday and I keep telling people that they should do stuff, instead of using gentler, milder, less forceful words.

I talk too much. I complain excessively. I tell people irrelevant details and never accept any negative opinions about myself. I judge so easily, it’s pathetic.

And the thing is I always feel so guilty. I feel like I’m distancing my friends because I am being so pretentious. They don’t say anything about and it probably does not really affect them but it affects me because I know I should just shut up and speak less since apparently I don’t have good things to say.