Results Day

Just planning for my modules next semester makes me feel overwhelmed with sadness. 

I have used the same blue book, now with the front cover missing and the pages falling off the binder for all the 3.5 going to 4 years in University to plan my modules at the start of every semester. It hurts as I reflect on how “far” I have come. 

Time has passed surely, but were these 4 years good? Did I live up to expectations?

My grades are not that good and people always give me a sympathetic look when I tell them about it. I had no interest in this course and I am sorry now that I did not try harder. 

Last semester was a really fun one for me. My social life improved by leaps and bounds but I hope it wasn’t to the expense of my grades.

I would never want that to happen. Afterall, we are all in University. The main purpose of being in University is to study and do well to guarantee a future job is it not? 

Many people say that results aren’t everything and jobs aren’t everything because there ARE successful people in the world that have made it through without them. BUT BUT BUT, the big question is, HOW FEW? How few of them have clawed their way through society’s expectations and misconceptions, how many of them have emerged from a worse place to become even better people than the ones who blindly followed the system? The truth is, not many.

I am anxious and particularly irritable this morning when my mum tells me to go down for lunch and my brother constantly pesters me about my results. 

I cannot face my results now. I hope for the best and I have prayed to St Joseph of Cupertino for his blessings. 

I hope he helps me this time. 

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