Who do you want to be?

Is it not okay to,

still be painfully directionless

at the age of 22?

When the rest of your friends have

jobs already planned out,

and people whom they want to marry.

Even a house, sometimes.

 

They’ve transitioned into adulthood

pretty quickly.

But your mind is still

stuck and struggling

back when you were five and

playing in the sandpit with all your cousins

or blushing at the side of a locker

when a crush

stared you straight in the eye.

 

Is it not okay to still like

doing silly things?

Like dancing in a room full of strangers

amidst judgement and whispers of :

“she’s such a drunk kid”.

Or wearing shorts everyday because dressing up is

too much of a chore

for school.

 

It’s not like anyone is looking.

 

I like things.

Like music, like gossip, like reading and writing

but none so much that I’d want to do it

for the rest of my life.

So where do I go?

 

Are we all going to be forced into the rat race,

where even rats act like better

human beings than us

who are only robots,

mechanically driven by want of money

and ambition

and envious looks from the

“connections” we call friends.

 

Is it not okay,

to not know who I want to be?

They say excuses are only for people

who don’t want it bad enough.

 

Maybe that’s true.

-S.C

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