Is it not okay to,
still be painfully directionless
at the age of 22?
When the rest of your friends have
jobs already planned out,
and people whom they want to marry.
Even a house, sometimes.
They’ve transitioned into adulthood
But your mind is still
stuck and struggling
back when you were five and
playing in the sandpit with all your cousins
or blushing at the side of a locker
when a crush
stared you straight in the eye.
Is it not okay to still like
doing silly things?
Like dancing in a room full of strangers
amidst judgement and whispers of :
“she’s such a drunk kid”.
Or wearing shorts everyday because dressing up is
too much of a chore
It’s not like anyone is looking.
I like things.
Like music, like gossip, like reading and writing
but none so much that I’d want to do it
for the rest of my life.
So where do I go?
Are we all going to be forced into the rat race,
where even rats act like better
human beings than us
who are only robots,
mechanically driven by want of money
and envious looks from the
“connections” we call friends.
Is it not okay,
to not know who I want to be?
They say excuses are only for people
who don’t want it bad enough.
Maybe that’s true.