JOBLESS AND DROWNING

My temporary job starts tomorrow and I am so freaking scared. I feel like I have no goals to work towards (apart from finding a permanent job) and no motivation to do anything at all (except finding a job). Even on that front, I am luckless. I scour through job ads everyday, wanting to apply for something everyday but all I can do is wait and wait and wait. It sucks because I hate waiting and I hate that my immediate future is in the hands of some HR rep. I can accomplish great things but first I need to actually get into a company to prove myself. And yes I might be picky when choosing a job because I don’t want to rush into something that I regret for the rest of my life.

Unpleasant Situations – Holding in a number 2

hold it

I have always wondered if there was a special technique for holding in a number 2. The scariest thing about pooing is not the smell (although that could be quite embarrassing) but even worse than that is the prospect of the actual gunk that threatens to explode out of you like a Big Bang of brown fecal matter, enveloping everyone for miles in its glorious stench. I definitely do not wish to play God and create an entire new universe in trains or in any sort of public area, but many a time I have been fairly close to doing just that.

When faced with the bleak prospect that there are no toilets within reach, what would YOU do? I don’t reckon breathing in and out was particularly helpful to me. Would tightening my glutes make a difference? Would sitting or walking a certain way help to deflect the terrible pain in your bowels and push those digested substances back up my intestines? How do you, hold it in?

Given two terrible scenarios (that I pray and hope will never happen to you), would you rather

a) Wee in public (because you can’t hold it). Consequences of that would be a puddle on the floor. Might not be yellow if you drank enough water.

b) Poop in public (no evidence of it in public except that of the terrible stench coming from down below and maybe the possibility of a little bit of turd accidentally plopping out of your pants)

Neither prospect is particularly pleasant, but personally, I’d go with b). There’s no obvious visible evidence so worse come to worst, I can just blame it on someone else.

TEEHEE

18.06.14

The reality of this situation is so frighteningly near. How many days pass by as we all stand in the train, shoulder to shoulder, waiting to get back home? How many sleeps do we spend thinking about the mercenary nature of our jobs? We used to look forward to many things, of growing older, of a possible occupation we might like. But now we dread more than we hope. Our goals in life take the form of paychecks and half used weekends, where we sleep in bed until noon and soon enough, the short weekend break is gone and Monday is here again.

Are all these worries worth it when at the end of the day you are just doing what everyone else has done? This to you now, may seem the most challenging task, but it is just a challenge you can overcome. For if you are so weak as to back down from a small challenge of pushing yourself, what can you do? Why stay comfortable when you can push yourself above and beyond what you expect of yourself? Push yourself and test your limits. Believe in what you are capable of, because you are far greater than you think you are and you think you can be.