Unpleasant Situations – Holding in a number 2

hold it

I have always wondered if there was a special technique for holding in a number 2. The scariest thing about pooing is not the smell (although that could be quite embarrassing) but even worse than that is the prospect of the actual gunk that threatens to explode out of you like a Big Bang of brown fecal matter, enveloping everyone for miles in its glorious stench. I definitely do not wish to play God and create an entire new universe in trains or in any sort of public area, but many a time I have been fairly close to doing just that.

When faced with the bleak prospect that there are no toilets within reach, what would YOU do? I don’t reckon breathing in and out was particularly helpful to me. Would tightening my glutes make a difference? Would sitting or walking a certain way help to deflect the terrible pain in your bowels and push those digested substances back up my intestines? How do you, hold it in?

Given two terrible scenarios (that I pray and hope will never happen to you), would you rather

a) Wee in public (because you can’t hold it). Consequences of that would be a puddle on the floor. Might not be yellow if you drank enough water.

b) Poop in public (no evidence of it in public except that of the terrible stench coming from down below and maybe the possibility of a little bit of turd accidentally plopping out of your pants)

Neither prospect is particularly pleasant, but personally, I’d go with b). There’s no obvious visible evidence so worse come to worst, I can just blame it on someone else.

TEEHEE

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