Sometimes I feel overwhelmed at work. It isn’t that the tasks that I am allocated are too hard, but I loathe how structured working life is. I am surrounded by (from what I perceive to be) workaholics and frankly, I rarely have any fun at work. The work is interesting, but the people are not. I want more young people in my life, people who I can have fun with. But I guess that’s not happening at the moment.
I am not sure if its just me that is unable to clique with them, or because one is not supposed to have too much fun at work. I feel sad and bored and lonely all the time. I don’t feel anything, no sense of joy or accomplishment. Every morning I worry about the clothes I have to wear to go to work, and whether I look nice. It feels like junior college all over again. But now I don’t have university to look forward to, so what do I look forward to if I have anything to look forward to at all?
I am fearful that i complain too much to my friends, or rather I am not the number one person they would turn to if they wanted to speak to me about something, or if they wanted to meet up, or if they wanted to have fun . I hate that everyone seems to be going on with their lives and I am not needed anymore. I am just someone who was left behind.
And me being tired is the worse thing. I feel tired ALL the freaking time. I have to sleep 2 hours after I get back else I’d feel like crap the next day. Then what is left of my day? Nothing.