This Ain’t a Scene, it’s an Arms Race

I had the opportunity to go out to the morning market with my parents today. It is something that I have not done in a long time.

Somehow the array of vegetables on display seem to be of brighter colours than usual. I notice how there wasn’t a single “young” person my age around, supposedly because they would all be in their offices working, or in meetings. They were all old people, retirees, or people with more flexible work schedules. I wonder why it has to be this way.

The reason why I am able to go out like this, today, on a weekday is because I am on medical leave. But somehow, even when I am meant to be sleeping, I cannot sleep. Too many things are weighing on my mind, especially that of work. I was at the point of exhaustion yesterday, too tired to think, too tired to be proactive at all. There was just an overwhelming amount of work. I have never felt so frustrated in a long time.

I switched off the WIFI on my phone, but I am continually worried of what I will be faced with when I switch it on again. An onslew of messages, hundreds and thousands of them? Sure the project will still carry on without my presence, but the world feels too constrained and small at this moment in time, it feels like the weight of it allĀ is crushing down on my shoulders.

I think it’s time to do some serious reflection on my life and prioritise what needs to be done.